S.O.S -- Saving Our Soles

If you're as smart as I think you are then you're probably asking yourself, "Why am I looking at a pair of raggedy gold shoes?" Well, I'm glad you asked. Before we get to the answer I want you to step into my world. Imagine that you're me and you're planning a night out with friends, and not just any night, but one filled with debauchery and plenty of dancing.

And the sad but true fact is that heels were made for dancing. Some way, somehow they provide just the right amount of height and leverage for shimmying, and let's be honest, they're pretty hot. Heels go where flat shoes dare not tread.

Anyway, back to you as my faithful understudy. You've prepared for the evening by putting on your new heels (over a pair of thick socks) and then doing Saturday morning chores. Yes, you look ridiculous but you know that this is what it takes to break your shoes in on short notice.

OK flash forward to 9pm. You've made it through dinner, mostly because it involves a lot of sitting. Next step is put these heels, and your sweet sweet moves to the test. After hours of sweating, standing, and dancing you've lost all feeling in your baby toe and your old lady knees are starting to kick in. But you are a champion and decide to keep it movin', literally.

Now it's 1:30am. The music is off, the lights are on, and you suddenly realize that you cannot spend one more second in those fabulously painful shoes. What's a girl to do? Well, let's work through your options:
1) piggyback ride - unfortunately the potential topple outweighs the benefit
2) remove the shoes and walk barefoot - yuck times infinity
3) punch some size 9 girl in the face and steal her shoes - sounds promising

Well, what if I told you that there's a fourth option? It involves a handy lil pair of flats that are tucked neatly into your purse. Would you hug me, pay me, bow to me? Probably all of the above. I mean, yes they bring back memories of Lucky the Leprechaun chasing a pot of gold but at this point I'm sure you and your tender toes are ok with tacky gold shoes. And you want to know why? Because not only are they protecting your feet from the disease-infested sidewalks of San Francisco, but they're also gloriously pain-free flats. Seriously, these crumpled pieces of fabric have saved toes, lives, and friendships. Best $11 you/I have ever spent. How's that for an answer?